


Fucking Perfect

by Ohhellnah67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Homofobic John, M/M, Older Sam, Panic Attacks, Public Blow Jobs, Punk Castiel, Social Anxiety Disorder, Teen Angst, Teen Dean, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohhellnah67/pseuds/Ohhellnah67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a 16 year old boy with social anxiety who loves books and tv shows. Cas is the sexy 18 year old neightbor who suddently appears one day at their home as Sams friend. Sam is the cool older brother and Charlie is the older sister who visits  sometimes. John is an abusive father who doesn't approve any of Deans decitions. Is Deans love for Cas strong enough to take all of Johns hittings? Is he strong enough to fight his SAD?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first Destiel fanfiction and I apologize if the idea is crap! Also, english isn't my first language so my grammar and all that crap tied to writing probably sucks too, but hey- give me a chance! I tried to describe Deans panic attacks the same way I expirience mine. In case you don't know what SAD is, well, folks, you're about to find out from the first hand or whatever. Enjoy!

It was around seven when Dean finished the last episode of his favorite show. He frowned at how much long he had to wait for the new season of Sherlock to come out. Even though it comes out next month, it seems like so much more because he's been waiting for a year now. Dean enjoys Sherlock Holmes, no he adores him. He loves the nerve he has on him. And even though Sherlock is , as he calls himself, a high functioning sociopath, he is everything thing Dean wishes to be. His high inteligence and an ability to read people just by looking them impressed Dean in the first place. And then there is, of course, the super special ability that Dean never had and never will have- talking to people without blushing, stuttering and at worst, panic attacks.  
He closed his laptop and got up to get a glass of orange juice from the kitchen. He heard conversation downstaris and tought that was probably the tv because usualy at this time his father comes home from work and watches those bad boring sitcomes.  
Imagine his suprise when he came down the stairs and saw a bunch of people sitting in the living room. At first panic didn't shake him that bad until he saw a young man, sitting on the couch next to his mom. Dean caught his bluest blue that ever blued eyes. He realized that he was staring so he blushed so badly that his face was on fire and it was when he looked down at his feet that he rememered that he wasn't wearing any pants. Only his new pair of Batman boxers. He managed to look back at the blue eyed angel that was sitting there, but only now the mans eyes were on Deans shirt that said 'Say hey if you're gay'.  
„Hey“, said the low, most sexiest voice Deans ears ever caught. That amazing, orgasmic voice belonged to the blue eyed stranger. The next thing Dean saw was his fathers furious look that he was afraid of the most in the whole world. As he started to feel his heart pumping faster and stronger he rushed to his room because if his father notices another of his panic attacks he's dead. He will kill him. He shuts the door and throws himself on the floor, trying to calm down his breathing and trying not break someting. Usually when this happens, Dean just breaks things, because it makes him feel stronger and helps him not to burst out in tears. But right now, if he breaks a lamp or anything else, it will piss his dad off even more than the fact that he just went downstairs in his underwear while people were over.  
He held his breath until he almost passed out, just to stop his heart from beating so fast. He was suprised that it worked and he was so goddamn thirsty but there was no way in hell he was going back down or leaving the room or even trying to stand up. He just curled on the floor, his feet frezzing and his hands shaking, his eyes focused on the door because of the constant fear of his father coming up to his room and beating the life out of him.

 

He felt better the next morning, although he didn't go downstairs until his dad left for work. He threw on his favorite AC/DC shirt and rushed in the kitchen to eat something while his mom was still making breakfast.  
„Morning honey“, his mother, Mary, said and handed him glass of orange juice that he craved for since yesterday evening. He didn't respond.  
„D-did dad g-get m-mad yesterday?“ He asked her quietly, before taking a giant sip from the glass. God he was so thirsty.  
„It's okay Dean“, she said and smiled, trying to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but he dodged it and looked at her scared, as if she's gonna hurt him. He is not afraid of his mother, he really isn't, but the feeling just takes over. The only person that was 'allowed' to touch him was his older brother Sam. Sam was, on the other hand, completely normal and could do anything. Dean never had problems with talking to Sam.  
The look on his mothers face when he moved away from her made him sad. He wished he could hug her and talk to her normally, but it seemed impossible.  
„Are we gonna be late for school?“ Asked Sam jumping from the stairs.  
„Sam! I told you not to jump from the top of the stairs! You will hurt yourself one day!“ Said Mary, throwing him his football for the morning practice. The whole Winchester family was into football, except Dean. Sam was on the top of the team, where his dad use to be, but Dean was shit. He couldn't even catch the ball properly.  
„We going?“ Dean asked Sam quietly. Sam nodded, gave Mary a quick kiss on the cheek and they then left for school.  
Their walk to school usualy lasts five minutes, since it's only a street away. This is the only part of the day where Dean actualy talks to someone, in school it just isn't possible. Just as he started to think about his math exam today, his brother interrupted him with a question.  
„Hey, is it cool if I bring a friend over today?“ Sam always asks. Every single time. That's why his big brother is his favorite person in the world.  
„Sure“, said Dean, rising his head from his feet to look up at Sam. „Sam?“  
„Yeah?“  
„Who were the people that came over yesterday?“  
„The new neighbours. In fact, their son, that was there yesterday, is the one coming over today.“  
Dean froze. „The blue eyed one?“  
„Yeah sure“, Sam smiled lightly. „See you after school“ He said as he crossed the street to get to the football field.

As the day passes Dean is in his math class taking the exam, and he almost forgets about the blue eyed beauty coming to his house later. Basically he's coming to see Sam, but Sam's room is right across from Deans and what if they come to this room or he sees him in the hallway? He felt his heart beating faster so he raised his hand to leave the room because he needs to calm down. If he 'freaks out' in the classroom one more time, people will start picking on him again. Last time it happened in class, he pissed himself out of fear that he's gonna die.  
The teacher approves and he leaves the room. Heading towards the bathroom, opening the door and emptying his stomach into one of the sinks feels awfull. Dean thought he'd have to break something, but throwing up did flip the panic off. He was still shaking tough, but it went away when he splashed his face with water. Just as he raised his wet face from the sink, he heard rough, low and sexy voice from behind himself.  
„Are you okay?“ His whole body froze. He recognized the voice. How could he ever forget it? It was the blue eyed man from last night. He looked at him from the mirror. His eyes were even more blue then last night. He looked different too. His hair was messy and sexy as hell and he wore black shorts with tight white shirt. Dean's heart almost jumped out of his chest.  
„Are you okay?“ He asked again, this time attempting to put his hand on Deans sholder, but Dean moved a step back, looking at the strangers hand as if it's gonna hurt him in the most painful way. The blue eyed man stepped back and moved his hand away, holding it up.  
„Is it okay if I help you?“ He asked and threw his bag on the floor, offering his hand to Dean. But Dean was confused. What the hell is he supposed to do? If the blue eyed angel touches him he is either gonna cream his pants or pass out. If he doesn't help him, he's gonna pass out anyway.  
Dean quickly nodded and tried to calm down his breathing, but he was failing.  
„My name is Castiel“, he said. „Is it okay if I grip your shoulder and sit you down for a minute?“ One part of Dean was scared as hell, but the other one, which came out of nowhere, wanted Castiel to bend him over and do all the things he wanted to do to him.  
Castiel slowly lowered his hand on Deans left shoulder, and then moved it around Deans back to slowly sit him down on the floor. He then sat down next to him, supporting his back with his hand. He was very strong, holding Dean with only one of his hands.  
Oh, and if Dean maybe seems chill right now, he totaly isn't.His body is exploding, his mind is blown by shoftness of Castiels hands. His face is red and his arms are shaking and if Castiel hadn't sat him down, his knees would've given up.  
Castiel slowly pulled out a bottle of water and also slowly lifted it towards Deans mouth. Dean was thirsty alright, he bottomed out the whole bottle of water.  
His breathing slowed down a bit, but his arms and legs were still trembling.  
„You're Dean right?“ Castiel asked suddently. Dean was suprised. This man knew his name? „Your brother told me about you.“ Sam was talking to Castiel about Dean?  
„I am coming by your house later, we're gonna hang out?“ Castiel asked. Dean wanted to look cool and give him the normal 'Yeah,sure', but how coud he? He was shaking on the bathroom floor and he must have looked so pathetic right now.  
„I hope we're gonna hang out, you know. You seem great.“ Castiel continued talking. „You don't mind me at your place?“ He asked. Dean understood that he was just trying to be nice and trying to calm Dean down.  
Dean managed to nod, but he didn't look at Castiel. No way he couldn't. He just wanted to Castiel to walk out of the freaking bathroom so he could start crying until he passes put. He just wanted to cry. He just wanted to go home. He was so damn pathetic. He wanted to tell Castiel to go away, but he couldn't talk. He hated himself more than ever right now.  
„Let me call Sam?“ Castiel asked when he realized that Dean was now shaking alarmingly. He thought that he might be having a stroke or some shit like that.  
Dean slowly stood up, his knees still frozen, but he somehow managed to pull away from Castiel.  
„Wow, are you sure you can walk?“ Dean wanted to start crying right now, but he needed to get put of the bathroom first. His tongue seemed like it cut itself off. He needed a miracle right now. He really needed a miracle so he can start talking and tell Castiel that he just wants to go home.


End file.
